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YOU in him [06 Mar 2009|02:16am]



I am undone

And you are gone

I am blurred

And you’re strong


A game

Did we play

So lame

The “stupid” Way

I went


Nothing it meant?

I saw you today. No, I thought that it was you. Those dark brown eyes, lucid and meek, I looked into them forever you know.

I wondered this is how it must be to see you stand behind the podium and enrapture your audience, hanging on to each of your word. I stared at a guy without any apprehensions for the first time in my life. I stared for so long that his friends began pointing me to him, smirking and mocking at him.

The way he smiled, the way his eyes looked so innocent glistening slightly as if he’d sneezed just a while ago and that had made his eyes water. I wondered what it would be like to hold his hands, soft and warm like yours?

His team won the third prize, he was so happy. I was happy too, I don’t know why.

They were announcing the winners but I was staring at him thinking about you. We won the event you know. Cash prize and all. A big cheer rose amidst the audience. A huge college team had come to cheer for us. They erupted into a-three-cheers-for hoot and that is when I realized I had to go up on stage.

There was a photo session later for the winners. He stood by me you know. My heart was beating aloud since so long, I thought it’d collapse soon and I’d die with your face floating in my eyes.

He smiled and mouthed a congratulations at me. I smiled back, smitten as I’d always been with you. I am sure he must be wondering what happened to the girl who fought with the judging panel for 15 minutes.

You know what? I thought you were dead in me, dying atleast. I swear I didn’t think of you all these years. I am dead beat with work and I really love being this way, you know it. But then I dreamt about you last night and then I see you, well him but you in him.

 They put up some music for us as part of celebrations I guess. I slipped in a groove without any effort. He was nowhere in sight and then he suddenly reappeared by my side.

How I loved you smile baby, he has one just like yours. I saw you slip your hands around my waist and throw me in your rhythm. Every step was planned by you; I just wished to be wrapped around you like a vine, lose my existence and be just you. He was just hanging around me, not sure of his steps. We always made a great pair on the dance floor, didn’t we? Sparks flying everywhere, ionizing the air between us, little jolts of love biting us. It used to make me feel almost guilty of being so happy.

I moved away towards the refreshments as my team mates and friends motioned me. I was following his moves from the corner of my eye. For a while he didn’t seem to care that I left the floor, and then he reappeared by my side just as eerily as the first time.

And then he spoke. A simple “HI!” in somebody else's voice.


I immediately knew it wasn’t you. Nobody can be you in anybody. Nobody can be everything you are, your eyes, your smile, your voice.

The game was over, he was just another boy. I smiled, not replying back and went back to my gang. For the rest of the evening he followed me pretty openly for everybody to witness. One of my guy friends told me he was asking about me, I avoided him completely.

Did I really love you this much? I can’t believe me and my heart, the way they behave when it comes to you. Seriously!


I am undone


And you are gone

I am blurred

And you’re strong


A game

Did we play

So lame

The “stupid” Way

I went


Nothing it meant!


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Blind Date [07 Feb 2009|02:53am]


“That’s it!” Nick exclaimed.


This is Nick for you, forever pompous. Sometimes I wonder whether it is sane of me to seek advice from him. But he’s a close enough buddy and after a few drags together, he actually gets me talking. Considering how he always manages to get swarmed by gals and his life is bereft of any emotional drama - well almost. He is definitely the best man I have got to play agony aunt for my... err… non existing personal relationships.


“Look bro, this time the idea better be good” I told him flat on his face. I have had enough of Nick’s ideas.


“Just listen to it and you’ll feel like kissing me” he continued in his pompous manner, puckering up his lips.


“Fat chance” I laughed out on him, then on my pitiable state. “I’d rather kiss a mule than you” I made a stab at him which I soon had to regret.


“Hey look. This is getting offensive dude. And if you remain stuck in guy circles all the time, in no time you’ll have no other option but to do that” Nick finished smirking, puffing up his chest like a proud lion.


“Ok. Fine. What’s the idea?” I was beginning to feel my face going red, wondering why I ever confided in Nick.


He took his time knowing that I’m waiting at his disposal. He slowly exhaled the smoke through his nose, something which always leaves me sick if I try. One has to agree, Nick’s got style. He simultaneously relived the idea he was holding back. “Go for a blind date”


“WHAT? I can’t even think of going on a date with someone I know and a blind date?”


“Exactly that is why. Even if you blow it, no one comes to know. I’m sure your blind date would be glad to forget it as well. It’s the least risk option you’ve got. Accept it dude, someday you got to get over your fears - school boy fears” he jeered at me once again.


Well yeah! He put it all right. Those were my worst fears. Time and again I have wanted to ask a girl out. I don’t have to say that I didn’t manage to do it in past 24 years.


With passing days, more I thought about Nick’s idea it started making sense to me. I decided upon a Blind Date agency called DOVE, brought to my knowledge by Nick. He couldn't have chosen any agency with a worse cliché tagline. Find your true love - go for a Blind Date through Dove. I wondered if along with their ostentatious and audacious promise of true love there came a money return policy.

I filled out the form honestly, keeping all pretensions at bay, going for extremely general qualities in the section meant for my dream date. The only particular trait that I mentioned sheepishly was that I had a special liking for the Chinky Babes. I owe it to the several Korean movies that I saw while still in hostel, when all my friends used to go out with their dates.



So I was finally awaiting my blind date in a fairly expensive restaurant. I wanted to put a good impression after all , because there was hardly any chance of a second date if this one didn’t go well. Still nothing could stop me feeling upbeat about it. Maybe their tagline really got to me. The visuals of my perfect date were running wild in my head - me sipping a vintage wine with a finely dressed up lady - looking into each other eyes – holding hands- it had to be love at first sight.


Yet after a while it’s just me left to a solitary misery, sipping on orange juice for an eternity. I couldn’t stand the gloomy restaurant anymore and decided on taking off my Ray-bans if my date didn’t arrive in another 5 minutes. I was hoping the sunglasses would hide my squinty eyes and accentuate my high bridged nose for my date to notice.


After countless shifty glances towards the entrance and then on the folks surrounding me, combing for my date through semi darkness, I took the Ray-bans off and stared at the entrance openly. Yet there was to be no sign of my date. Despite all the sneak peak drama, I managed to progress to the third page of MAD magazine.


The restaurant was packed by now. And it was well past 1 hour of the stipulated time. I started looking more carefully at the singles occupying the tables. There weren’t many and just two girls. Neither of them seemed like the description I was told about. She would be wearing a mauve coloured shirt and a white skirt, I was told for identification. And from her details I knew she had straight jet black hair, black eyes and was of north-eastern part of the country. Hence was expected to have some resemblance with the Chinky babes who wove in and out of my dreams. I went up to the reception to confirm whether I was shown the right table for this rendezvous with the stranger.


As I was returning back to my table totally dejected , wondering if my date had a look at me and slipped out quietly,  I saw a slender figure with jet black shoulder length hair, all by itself seated diagonally opposite to me in another corner of the restaurant.

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Dead Violets + Simulacra + Jordan Bryce @ Red & Black on Dec 17th [04 Dec 2008|12:56pm]


9pm - 11pm

$8 at the door

The Red & The Black Bar
Atlas District, Washington, DC
1212 H Street, NE,
Washington, DC 20002

Dead Violets

Simulacra (georgekarosproject)

Jordan Bryce

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Sonic Circuits presents.... Sunday, November 23rd [13 Nov 2008|09:42am]


Video Love (Paris)
french electro pop+live video sampling

Dead Violets (DC)
vocal sound art+video

Sunday Nov 23, 2008
doors: 6:30pm
music: 7:00pm SHARP

8230 Georgia Avenue, Silver Spring MD 20910
located three blocks south of the silver spring metro station (red line)
INFO: www.dc-soniccircuits.org
DIRECTIONS: www.pyramidatlanticartcenter.org

Celebrate the release of the lofi+scifi feature film 1,2,3 Whiteout (The End of the Light Age) DVD+CD on zeromoon. James June Schneider's (aka Matterlink) recent film is a 'tone poem for darkness' and mixes amazing original vignettes with diverse archive found footage, an exceptional sci-fi sensibility and incredible soundscapes to form a blissfully imaginative and retro-futuristic creation. Set in 'an old-fashioned kind of future', Veronique and an inventor (the legendary Lou Castel) are trying to bring back a 'positive' darkness
to offset the glaring, bright, technological man-made light and 'make the night night again'. The film and audio were constructed to operate as independent forces which work in counterpoint. The soundtrack is composed of found, sampled, and synthesized sound as well music/songs composed for the film. The latter were created by Elmapi and AE and the soundscapes were recorded and composed by Richard Harrison and Michael Schumacher amongst others. The dvd includes 2 short experimental films created using x-rays that feature music performed by Violet.

Video Love
Hailing from Paris, Elmapi has joined up with DC filmmaker and video artist Matterlink to create a raw and hypnotizing mix- "alternating between Elmapi's wildly original driving 'pop-concrete' compositions and the sampled sounds & voices of Matterlink's live-cinema." The sound lays somewhere between Stereolab, Judy Nylon, and Laurie Anderson. Her last album "Arcane Electronique" was mixed by Andy Moor of legendary The Ex.

Dead Violets
They say opposites attract. In the case of Dead Violets the opposite is even truer. After years of virtual fraternization Thomas Ekelund (Sweden) and Jeff Surak (USA) realized that it was only logical to join forces and meld their common interests in drones, surface noise, and 60s girl group pop, therefore Dead Letters Spell Out Dead Words plus Violet gave birth to Dead Violets.

After producing several online and cassette tape appearances with their trademark intense low frequency dirges and bleak harmonic flourishes, Dead Violets is reemerging once again with the recent addition of poetess/priestess Bethany Moore on vocals and incantations. As a trio the group goes even further into uncharted audio realms within their collective souls producing a hybrid of drone pop exorcisms and sound art rituals. Tonight's performance will include live video accompaniment.

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Dead Violets 3" CD for sale [27 Oct 2008|11:31pm]


Purchase your copy of "Banish" here

The long running collaboration between Dead Letters Spell Out Dead Words and Violet has arisen from the ashes of dormancy. Dead Violets has received a new lease on its bleak outlook on life with the appearance of its newest member, Bethany Moore, adding sultry vocals/vocalizations to the mix. "Banish" is the result of the dronecore power trio's first endeavor, and just an apperetif of upcoming audio onslaught that Dead Violets will unleash. A shiny 3" cdr that guarantees not to shine any light.

3" cdr. $6.00

Payments can be made securely using PayPal.

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the coming of age (february 20, 2007) [21 Feb 2007|10:37am]



the will to be forcible
for you to see me against tides
of unwanted imagery
against unexplained comedy
of you here lying motionless
touching the skin at my back

the risks already undertaken
from the moment you smelled my hair
till your arms playfully linger on my bare hip
then in unison
looking thru the frosty window
listening to the rain pouring madly at the roof
whispering carelessly to remember
long forgotten memories taken in innocence together

the bliss left under the sheets
with you holding me closely
against your bare chest
overpowering me with your able shoulders
trapped endlessly
wanting blissfully
to be here forever
without turning back
to our lives lived in secrecy


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back then (fucking son of a gun) (october 13, 2001) [19 Feb 2007|11:20am]



back then
back then
when the world was fine
you came, you conquered
you fucking son of a gun
and my world crumbled, dissolved, and rumbled
with this feeling of love, lore and misinformation

back then
back then
i was alone and i was fine
the sky was all mine
and there was never any shades of blue
but then you came, you conquered
you fucking son of a gun
and the sky faltered, stammered, and trembled
with this feeling so remarkable, so cruel, and so beautiful
you are so beautiful

back then
back then
i never thought of this till then
i never felt like this till then
back then
back then
like im falling in love with you again
back then


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arms of a stranger (february 10, 2002) [14 Feb 2007|01:24pm]



here in the arms of a stranger
in the heart of common ground
were hate is never love
and love never hates
nothing of that sort exists
but only this moment in times absence

here in the absence of time
theres a lingering sight of perfection
pleading for this feeling to eventually fall
like raindrops falling from the sky
waiting to hit the ground finally

here in the realms of the present
were yesterday steps in
and tomorrow walks away
i feel home like coldness around
i feel love like hate in a distant sound

its all here in the arms of tonight
its all here in the arms of a stranger
were eternity exists between his eyes and mine
and it pleads to cease the existence of time
here in the arms of a stranger
here in the arms of tonight


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spark of lunacy (january 28, 2002) [13 Feb 2007|12:35pm]



breath with me
the air of recklessness
when you sat beside me
when you brushed by my heart accidentally

laugh hard with me
the smile of such healthy treachery
of you pertaining to be intimate to me
of love being sprung so effortlessly

breath and laugh
you and me
breath and laugh with this sudden opportunity
breath and laugh
this spark of lunacy
just breath and laugh
with this flicker of spontaneity

sleep tight with me
watch me close my eyes fervently
and pray with me hard enough o let this be

drown constantly with me
in this engagement between constant adversaries
of enemies being politely so meant to be
of fate so perfectly orchestrating this story

sleep and drown
you and me
sleep and drown in this sea of frenzy
sleep and drown
in the abyss of infinite fancy
sleep and drown
in this spark of lunacy
all for you
and all for me


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of love and not love (january 21, 2002) [12 Feb 2007|01:14pm]



swooning under the carpet
of love and not love
of emotions and none emotions
crashing under the rug of desire
or faltering under the feet of denial

fumbling all over
your heart so full of carelessness
of stepping out or being stepped at
of being conscious or being ridiculous
of love and the so-called love
of you yesterday and of you now
i wonder whom did i loved the most somehow

between love and hatred
of being impassioned or angered
i wonder how i ever made it
in times and in places
between right and wrong
i swoon underneath the mat
of love and not love
of being in love and being in love with you


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interlude IX [09 Feb 2007|12:40pm]



wondering ... wondering
if you are
as sincere as cheating
as gallant as whining
as kind as lying
as valiant as hiding

wondering ... wondering
if love is
as furious as hatred
as scarlet as death
as fervent as bluntness
as plain as everyday



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a new sense [05 Feb 2007|11:45am]



a new sense of feeling
a new sense of missing
from impulse to this fleeting feeling
of excitement
of estrangement
to you finally
to you eventually


a new sense of relief
a new sense of flight
from careless air
to blissful winds
shared together from freshness
to slumber
dreaming of you and i


a new sense of feeling
a new sense of being
i had with you
so suddenly
so impulsively
from you
from you all along
now i’m never gonna be on my own



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i said goodbye [02 Feb 2007|12:59pm]



moving forth
secretly hurting
deep inside
youve let me down
"have the ships been long gone?"

no looking back
just breathing ahead
have you let my hands go?
i cant feel your heart anymore

i am lost
this world is too big without you
ill drown
my heart will succumb
stay for a while
i cant say goodbye

facing ahead
tears against the wind
tomorrows too blinding
all things sinking
away from me
can you stay for a while
until i can say goodbye?


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[poem] religious freedom [01 Feb 2007|12:24pm]

I wrote this poem about my feelings about my religious freedom as a person who walks a non-mainstream spiritual path. I originally started writing this poem last August for the First Freedom First campaign, and then I let it sit for awhile because it needed to be reworked. It was mostly conceptual before, and now its a little more poetic. I was inspired last night to finish it.

Enjoy! Feedback welcome.
And click the link above to sign a very important petition to safeguard separation of church and state, and protect religious liberty.


My First Freedom

to worship
to dance, to meditate,
Sometimes silence to think
or a song to sing.

People and choices,
lives and spirituality can
change and evolve--
It could change and sway
grow and bloom.

But always revered is my
freedom to decide these sacred needs
for me.

to light a candle,
to burn some herbs,
to find inspiration in
the element of fire and
the scent of the earth,
this, my freedom to choose my methods,
to find my inspiration
as it comes

According only to me.

to dare to find meaning
in the placement of the planets and stars;
to think there's higher thinking that is
to respect that we each
are on our own unique paths;
our own journeys around the same sun--
little planets giving light and
giving life, each
in our own way.

Everyone is
making choices everyday.

But have we asked ourselves lately
if we are making choices
to make ourselves
more free?
Or are we blinded in the clouds
That rain down
Are we doing
to set ourselves free?
Or are you going to tell me
That I cannot choose and practice
my spirituality?


(c) Bethany Moore 2007
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jadie [31 Jan 2007|02:53pm]



jadie i called your name
you were the light and you were sane
you were courageous yet so naive
and so i left you as you leave

jadie who told you not to say good-bye
i know i was there but at least i tried
and i know back then you used to try
but now jadie please try to justify

jadie you were the witness
you were cursed but so damn blessed
i'm insane, i'm numb and deceitful
oh why did you ever find me so beautiful

jadie save yourself cause i will miss you
as heaven and earth feeds upon the truth
i'll be here waiting till you change your mind
jadie, if you ever change your mind

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you [26 Jan 2007|10:37am]



in my stomach
endlessly fluttering
i dont know i can feel such thing
with you and your constant invitation
to cascade towards earthly communion

bursting in the scene
im not aware of this foreign feeling
bouncing off every walls imaginable
i never knew life could be this conceivable

singing while im sleeping
laughing while im screaming
dancing while im spinning
i cant escape it
need to be in this constant state

narcotically impossible to achieve
this mindset so high i cant hardly believe
if this is true
if this is you


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three pieces: feedback welcome [14 Nov 2005|10:47pm]

Hello fellow poets. I have a couple of pieces to share this evening.

Poem: War of Words - Bethany MooreCollapse )

Poem: on modern suffering - Bethany MooreCollapse )

Poem: prose about politics and sociology, concerns - Bethany MooreCollapse )

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[21 Apr 2005|03:12pm]
So... is anyone watching?? Just wondering. Comment if you're still alive :)

And anyways...
This was for a challenge on another community

100 wordsCollapse )
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[17 Apr 2005|10:04pm]

Name: Ace

Age: 15

Sex: Female

What do you write: I'm not quite sure. Just short stories, I guess. Anything from romantic mush to weird science fiction. Depends on my mood.

Favorites: There's way too many to list. If you're curious, please ask and I'll be happy to babble about them

Anything else: Not really. Just that I'm a little shy and when I do post stories it's a big deal, so I greatly appreciate any comment at all.

I guess now I'll post a story. It's in my journal, I hope that's ok because it's mostly a journal for writing.

Does it matter?

Like I said, comments greatly appreciated.

And if you have time, read the story in the entry before that because I still need some advice on where to go with that one.

Thanks in advance :)

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[02 Mar 2005|07:28pm]
[ mood | content ]



Sex: Female

What do you write? poetry, short stories, vignettes.

Favorite Writers/books/poems/etc: the brontes, poe, shakespeare, anais nin, the list is endless.

Anything else you think we should know? um...i am interested in photography and often find myself writing poems or vignettes that are connected to or inspired by the photos i take...often but not always!

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